Saturday, November 04, 2006

more google searches - the postmodern edition

Another post, also from Tuesday? Geez, Tuesday was a busy day...

Blogging is so postmodern. Or maybe I should say that google is so postmodern. I've already touched on the whole google ads thing. But here's why the postmodernity of google has come to my mind today. I'm dying to tell you about the wacky (and kinda dirty) search that brought someone to my blog, but doing so would put me even higher in the search results for this search string, which I don't really want to do (and Sugar Daddy asked me not to anyways). So I think I will have to get creative with my synonyms and descriptions, like some old game show, except I can't remember which one. I know it's not the one where people chant, "No whammies, Big Bucks, no whammies, No! Whammies! Stop!"

Before I get to the fun part though, I must say that I have noticed that sometimes google fudges the results. Sometimes if you enter a long search string, google shows you results that have most but not necessarily all of your words. I've noticed it before, when searching, but I am quite certain that there was at least one word in this search string that I most certainly haven't used anywhere on this blog. But I won't tell you what it is because then that statement wouldn't be true (See? Postmodern... or at least I think it is... I dunno. It's been a long time since uni).

Anyways... we can do it like charades: 9 words. The first four I'll just say (ok so maybe it's not so much like charades as cheating at charades: trip down memory lane. I'm ok with that; there's nothing dirty there (well, there could be if you search for it on the right website but I won't link to it).

Then another word that I've already used several times to describe Swee'pea during diaper and clothes changes so I'll say it again: squirmy.

Now for the fun bit (and you can take that in many ways I suppose)... two syllables. Sometimes you can say it accidentally if you don't enunciate the word for a professional piano player clearly enough. I really want to use the 'sounds like' clue but I really can't think of a word that rhymes. Oh -- sounds like a drunk saying meanest.

Ok, 7th word: I'll just give it to you. It's and... not terribly exciting, let's move on.

8th word: 3 syllables, gerund form of a verb (I think, I'm not up on my verb tenses or grammatical terms) some people buy cradles, or swings that do this for babies. Or chairs for adults so they can get a bit of a back massage. And no matter what the context, this word pretty much always makes me giggle. Incidentally, I don't think I've used this word on my blog either... because we don't own any of those cradles, swings or chairs. A different form of the word was used in a song, I can't remember who sang it but in my head it sounds a bit like the Beach Boys, "Good, good, good, good __________" Or something like that. Unfortunately I still have that Tiffany song in my head (thanks a lot Bubandpie!) causing interference.

And finally, the 9th word: 1 syllable... plural form of those things that people just love to kick (in more than one meaning of the word), bounce, throw, shoot through hoops, hit with wooden things, etc. etc.

Ok... so that's it. Fun's over. And probably very anticlimactic. Sorry. Other more gutsy bloggers, I'm sure, would have just come out and said it, but what can I say... I'm a wuss. I'm actually surprised that the searcher even bothered with my blog, because I think what they were looking for was a few results above me. And again, a gutsier blogger would just link to it for fun, but I'm not her. If you're curious, like I was, just do the search yourself and you'll find it, I'm sure.

More searches that made me chuckle and which I don't mind boosting my rankings for: Luca Kovach (apparently I'm #2 for that one... all because of a dream I had), "dictionary purolated" (why??), "baby 9 months chewed latex paint," and another "stroller bent frame zooper," which makes me think that zooper strollers are just a bit defective. Solution: make sure all the screws and bolts and thingies are tightened. I think that could have been the problem with ours. Oh yeah, and one more, which seems kind of cryptic to me but gave me a giggle: "Big D Parties."

Yesterday, someone from Peru came to my blog searching for "lady angst." I wonder what she was looking for?

Oh yeah, and after I wrote this, I discovered, thanks to a googler landing on my blog, that I am #1 for the search, "armpit rash change of season." Ohhh yeah. Numero Uno, that's me!


Beck said...

Ew! Ew! EWWWW!
I got a yucky, scary comment on MY blog last night, but whoever anonymous freaky commentor was, they just followed my comment from another site. The only google searches I get are for "Frog and toad are friends" so I'm probably going to get sued by the estate of Arnold Lobel ANY DAY NOW.

Marsha said...

apparently there is some woman out there with my first name that is very good at her craft *cough*. Lots of people land on my blog looking for her.

cinnamon gurl said...

Beck, I'm still trying to figure out if you're ewing the 9-word search or the armpit rash search. 'Cause I never had an armpit rash, it was a wasp sting and I had a localized allergic reaction that went from my armpit to my elbow... it wasn't anything gross, I swear. Except that my arm is still discoloured from the reaction, TWO months later.