Bloody Blogger: The Post That Is No Longer

There were some parts of the post that disappeared that are worth rewriting. So here goes.

My parents came to visit on Wednesday. Blah blah blah vineyard... grapes... wine... ripe smell in their house for a few days... long story short, he came to pick up some crushed grapes to make more yeasty smells in their house until his own grape vines yield a harvest in a few years.

So we had lunch and they had some quality time with Swee'pea. I wasn't feeling great though, I'd felt crappy and nauseous the day before until about 3, then I felt fine, and now I felt queasy again so I couldn't finish my lunch. My mom pounced. She made me paranoid. Blah blah blah peed on a stick blah blah. Negative. As I thought.

The next day, I woke to clear evidence that my body thinks it's ready to be a nest again. Coincidentally, the evidence came on the very day that Swee'pea crossed the threshold of equal time in the oven as out. AND it was only two days after admiring some gourds on a thick green vine, about which I had this to say on flickr:

When I was a kid, I used to wonder what the point of gourds was. Sure, they rattled in the fall, and made pretty centrepieces, but you can't eat them.

Today I discovered it: when every living thing is shrivelling, turning brown and otherwise closing up shop for the winter, these fruits continue to dangle from the vine, reminding me of future fertility and life in more than one way.

Frankly, the single gourd reminded me of a beautiful pregnant belly and the two dangling together reminded me of testicles.

* * *

This morning I got my hair cut and coloured, and straightened (not permanently just with an iron). I love having curly hair, despite this and this. I don't have to brush it -- ever. I don't even own a hairbrush. Nevertheless, I enjoy the novelty of being able to run my fingers straight through my hair -- whoosh -- after it's been straightened. Look how smooth and shiny and streaky it is...


While my hair was washed, I noticed again just how vulnerable you are to BO when someone is washing your hair. But I've never had it happen. Do you think they cover this at hairdressing school? Lesson 1. Always wear deodorant. Always have spare deodorants in the staff room in case someone forgets. Nothing loses a customer faster than have a stinky armpit over their face while you shampoo them.

It would be even worse than an IT guy with BO, which I have experienced. The worst part was that he always leaned over the keyboard to reach the mouse while I was still sitting in my seat and stuffed his armpit in my face. That's when I always offered him my seat saying and got up to stand as far as a possible. Or I would make like I had something urgent to do that wasn't at my desk. This guy smelled so bad that the manager actually had a talk with him -- twice. Poor guy, I'm sure he was good at his job, but people were swooning like ladies with corsets around him.