Friday, October 13, 2006

Flashback Friday: Feminist Edition

Each week, I will tell a story that has something to do with being or becoming a woman or feminist. This series will continue until I run out of stories. Guest bloggers are welcome if you have a story you want to tell; or feel free to link to your own story in the comments.

When I was 17ish, I was friends with a pretty girl who was a raging flirt, had low tolerance for booze, and often made out with guys when parties and booze mixed. Despite her extensive snogging, she was saving her virginity for marriage and she nearly made it. She lasted until she got engaged. But that's beside the point. Anyways, back when we were 17 or thereabouts, she'd started dating a guy at another school and she maintained she was in love. We were planning to go to a party and she asked me to make sure she didn't make out with anyone there because she was in love. I tried my best to do my duty at the party but was failing as she got drunker and sillier, and a cute jock attempted to take advantage.

I kept telling her, “You're in love, remember?” Eventually, the jock turned to me and said, “Why are you so cynical?” I can't remember what prompted this line of discussion. I replied, “I don't know.” And he said, “Maybe you're a lesbian.” I guess he was getting annoyed with me that I wasn't falling under his spell and letting him get off with my friend. I'm not sure exactly what happened next; I probably left them to it. But his comment upset me. I wondered if he was right; after all I was big and butch like an Amazon, I didn't take his shit, I wasn't impressed by a popular jock boy, I hadn't had a boyfriend, I didn't like the few boys who had liked me, I was angry, I wore plaid shirts (c'mon I was 17, give me a break), the list could go on and on. I guess he was making the equation that a woman who doesn't immediately fall under the spell of a popular guy must be a manhating lesbian. Eventually, I got over it and I did meet a guy I liked who liked me back shortly after that, but still the comment lingers in my ears more than a decade later. I can't remember who the guy was but I remember what he said.

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Fave Grey's Anatomy quote from last night:

"If I do die today, I don't want to be remembered as the slutty intern who dated
two doctors."

Yang: "Uhh, one doctor and one
vet."

I didn't much like last night's episode. People kept doing things I didn't want them to do. Meredith should have chosen Finn (for his name alone); Cally should have given George another chance, and she definitely shouldn't have invited McSteamy back to her hotel room. Though, who can really blame her? That man is steamy. And what's up with Izzy just getting $8.7 milion??

And there was yet another story of a woman so focused on a natural birth that she endangers the life of her child. First off, if she wanted a natural birth, why in hell did she choose the care of one of the top obstetrical
surgeons in the country? And second, are there really women like this? I wanted a natural birth but more than that I wanted to trust my caregivers' decisions and go with the flow; I didn't get a natural birth but I did achieve the latter. That storyline does nothing to help fight the overmedicalization of childbirth. Oh dear, I'm ranting again. It's just a tv show. Step away from the tv.

1 comment:

mad_hatter said...

I hate it, hate it, hate it when people use language that should be positive or at the very least neutral as a put down. The homophobia you describe makes me furious.

Also, have you stumbled on the Bitacle issue yet. If not, read my post b/c I'm afraid they've got you.