Things I don't like:
- sneezing in the shower
- food touching, unless it's curry, turkey dinner or bacon and eggs, except I don't eat bacon anymore. Worst culprit, lasagne and salad in a cafeteria.
- when Sugar Daddy takes the hand soap for his shower, to avoid the Herculean task of getting a new bar from the cupboard. Especially when I get up in the middle of the night to pee and can't find the hand soap.
- blue eyeshadow -- even though I saw Sarah Jessica Parker sporting gobs of it on Regis and Kelly yesterday like it was 1986. She's old enough to know better.
- dropping a shitload at the grocery store only to discover at home that you've missed essentials like garlic and potatoes.
- making belly dance costumes; worse, having to search for just the right item to complete the costume with only 2 weeks to go before I have to appear onstage in the costume.
- spam, even if it's from ninjaman nrs.
- that Swee'pea looks like a little coke baby because there is one nail I haven't been able to clip in a long time, and it just happens to be his left pinky
- when Swee'pea's granny visits and spends the whole time telling him to, "Speak! I wanna hear you speak! Can you say Granny? How about mama or dada? Speak! I wanna hear you talk!" Jeez, just give the kid a break.
- last week's exchange on ER when Abby goes to a mums' group and is told off for carrying him in a baby bjorn type thing, to which she replies, "Well I'm a doctor..." Like that can prepare you for motherhood. When the rude woman isn't impressed by that, Abby starts going on about how slings are only used as fashion accessories.
- that the hardest thing about the ab exercises in my belly dance class is the electric twinges in my upper back. Which is not to say that my abs are strong, but that my back is SOOOOO knotted from hefting Swee'pea around.
- waking up more often than Swee'pea; related to insomnia while he sleeps. Where is the justice??
- I know that everyone loves to hate the government and the bureaucratic red tape it can wrap you in and the automated telephone hoops it can make you jump through but I have to give it credit. Remember how I applied online for Swee'pea's birth certificate last week? Well, it said it would process the request within 15 business days, and they did it within three. That birth certificate was purolated to our door Monday at noon.
- Will my former butt sucking habit rear its ugly head? I've quit smoking a few times over the years. But I have a real weakness for warm days on patios with cold beer and a cigarette. Last time we went to SA, we both totally succumbed and started smoking again. It didn't help that several of Sugar Daddy's family smoke, so butts were easily accessible until we gave up the charade and started buying our own packs. I really really don't want to be a smoking mother. But I still have moments of intense nostalgia for that heady combination. No Smoking!
- Waxing philosophical: just before our last trip, I tried a bikini wax for the first time. I thought it would be a good solution to the problem of those itchy red bumps caused by shaving, but no. Waxing gave me itchy red bumps too (trust me, it didn't make for a fun plane ride). Plus, the woman who did it was a bit weird. Not only did she get just a little too close for comfort on the lookout for renegade hairs, but she kept going on about how much she loves doing Brazilians. "Wanna a Brazilian?" "Er, no." "You just wait," she said, "you'll be back in no time begging for a Brazilian."
Love Fest or Ode to a Blogger:
Now that I've gotten that off my chest, get me a bandwagon 'cause I'm jumping on the lovefest. The blogger I'm writing about hasn't been having the greatest time lately. She's been sick, and so tired she's discovered that toothpaste and hand soap are not interchangeable, and neither is milk and orange juice on cereal. Things I love about this blogger:
- She also has a child who doesn't sleep through the night or in the crib. I feel a special kinship with these parents.
- She was among the first people to comment on my blog, and her first comment even said, "Glad I found you." I was so chuffed, I emailed that comment to Sugar Daddy at work in my excitement.
- She's uber cool, with all her hip slang, and funny to boot. When she commented on my blog, it was totally like the popular girl just said hi to me in the hall.
- I share 15 of her 100 things. Because I'm a geek, I even took note of the numbers: 4, 8, 9, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 56, 90 (except she forwards us spam: like from Nigeria seeking a bank account for millions of dollars, and spammy investment recommendations with titles like "All Capitalists -- BreakingInfo!" and incomprehensible text. I'm totally not shitting you), 92, 93, 94, 95.
- She writes liner notes for albums. Again with the uber cool.
- She was a deadhead. I wasn't a deadhead but I was friends with lots of deadheads and I like their music.
- She had a herd of pumpkin zombies in her yard last Halloween.
- So here's to penelopeto. Can't wait 'til your next post.