Wow, it is NOT easy to get ready for a job interview in another city (especially The Big City where people dress really well and always have their hair and makeup done perfectly) when you have sole care of a toddler. It's very difficult to fret over the details of my appearance when a toddler is about to go down the stairs without me or has thrown everything out of the crib I tried to contain him in. Still, it was very annoying to discover that just two weeks ago I packed or threw out all of my hair clips because I hadn't used them in three years. (Half-ass ponytail-slash-bun thingie it is.) I also packed ALL of my makeup, because the last time I wore makeup was a year ago in a belly dance performance (actually maybe it was last March when I had to impress Sage -- whatever). The point is I had to go out to buy mascara at the last minute, and found myself paralyzed with indecision at the vast wall of mascara wands. How does one choose?!?
Of course, none of it mattered. I noticed that neither of the two women interviewing me were wearing makeup, and their hair didn't look perfect either. All that angst for nothing. I looked fine. I did fine. I would be a very good fit for the job.
And while I felt a little thrill at my first glimpse of the skyline and the CN Tower truncated by heavy, low clouds and hearing the clang of a streetcar and then a subway scraping by, I just don't think we belong in the Big Smoke. While I enjoyed being dwarfed by the enormous glass walls lining the downtown streets, I don't think I want to spend forty hours a week high up inside one of them. While it was exciting to watch all the people in smart suits and ties and shiny shoes rushing past a cafe window, I don't want to become one of them feeling tugged by my little one somewhere more than five minutes away from me.
Don't get me wrong. It's a vibrant and exciting city and I felt myself lifted by that excitement. I'm sure we could be happy there, especially with so many kickass bloggers there. But I think I'd prefer a slower life on a smaller scale. Sorry, I know I've said all this before but I continue to waffle so I need to reconsider the options over and over again.
So more finger-crossing for this nearby job for Sugar D. He had one interview last week and may hear the end of this week whether he gets a second.
A love letter to Lucas, Age 8
2 hours ago