Saturday, August 16, 2008

unprecedented

For four out of the last five nights, Swee'pea has slept through the night, all alone. That's two times two nights in a row. He has never, ever slept through the night in his own bed two nights in a row. It's such a treat to cuddle while awake, taking our time to reconnect and greet the day, instead of the nocturnal cuddles and immediate leap to consciousness.

You'd think I'd be Ms. Calm after all that uninterrupted sleep, but I am not. Last night, just before I fell asleep, I heard a jet fly overhead. It made that freaky whistling sound that I associate with plane crashes in the movies. For one irrational instant, I wondered if it was going to crash into our house and I felt a jolt of panic. But I caught myself: this is just because I'm stressed out. The more stress I feel, the more panic and anxiety I experience (AND the more ice cream and beer I consume). I have to remind myself that the world didn't suddenly just get a lot more dangerous.

Sugar D leaves first thing tomorrow morning for six days in California on business. I have a final walk-through of the new house on Monday afternoon and the electrician is coming to give us a quote on some work we need done before we move in. We take possession of the new house on Tuesday afternoon and I have one day to paint our bedroom, rip up carpet in two rooms, and remove the baseboards before the hardwood installers come. Sugar D comes home on Friday night, just in time for two days of intense packing and one day of intense moving. And that's just what I planned.

What I didn't plan was for Sugar D to crash the car yesterday while he parked it and I got a money order for the lawyer, right before our appointment to sign all the g.d. papers (this was after the whole daycare dilemma and tour -- which we have to decide on by Monday, also unplanned). Sugar D wasn't hurt at all (thank goodness!) and the other car wasn't damaged. But our car is looking a lot like toast. We just got a quote to repair it: $2000. Our insurance agent is unavailable until Monday so I can't find out what our insurance policy covers, what our deductible is, or what a claim like that will do to our premiums. So apparently I have to fit all that decision-making and coordinating in between all the other bullshit I'm dealing with next week. Of course it's not bullshit, but it's feeling just a touch overwhelming.

This morning at the market, I saw a guy from the drop-in centre. He's taken to hugging me hello, I don't know why. But we tend to see him a lot when we're out and about. Anyways, he's having to stay at the men's shelter while his wife stays at the women's because he lost job and they got evicted, all within days of each other by the sounds of it.

I'm feeling so overwhelmed, I almost bailed on the drop-in this afternoon so I could get more stuff done, but then I thought of that guy and wondered what he'd think if I didn't show up after he just saw me this morning. I imagined explaining my problems: my husband's going away and we're buying a big house and our 2006 Toyota needs to be fixed and I have to arrange insurance, and wah wah wah. Um yeah, a little embarrassing.

I can handle this week; I just don't want to. And we can delay the car fixing if we need to because we still have our friends' car. So I'm going to the drop-in momentarily.

12 comments:

monkey said...

perspective. thank you for this reminder today. i needed it more than i even knew.

crazymumma said...

I know. Those weeks that you can only get thru step by step.

Yet, here here, (raising glass), to sleeping thru the nite!

Karen said...

hurray for sleeping through the night - sounds like it came just in time!

Anonymous said...

Love your writing. Please don't hug people with whom you volunteer...please.

cinnamon gurl said...

Anon, the hugging does seem a bit strange to me, but I'm not sure how to avoid it. I'm not a huggy person, I don't send out huggy vibes. But some people can't read the anti-hug vibes, and I'm not sure how to enforce them without being rude. Any tips?

Why are you so concerned?

Anonymous said...

Concerned because my career is a human services administrator. I am a believer in boundaries big time. When a person known to me through my work wants to hug me I approach them with a huge smile and arm outstretched to shake hands and then we do shake hands. If called for I say something like, "I only hug my husband", etc.
Hugging friends and family is a different story!

Anonymous said...

PS I came to your blog through Mad Hatter and Bub and Pie. I am "known" to them as (Your) Anon.

cinnamon gurl said...

Ooh, I always chuckle when I read your comments because I think I remember the time how the whole (Your) Anonymous thing came about. I'm so flattered you're reading...

As for boundaries, I kind of wish I'd had some form of orientation with a discussion about boundaries. I see from knitnut.net that they do that at the Mission in Ottawa, and they have strict rules, but it seems like there are no rules where I volunteer.

I like your idea for shaking hands. Thanks...

Kyla said...

Yay, Swee'Pea!

We've had a heck of a week...found out I didn't get my financial aid for school, had to take several thousand dollars out in a loan to fix the car. Ack. But honestly, it isn't so bad in the scheme of things.

Bon said...

i too just wanted to thank you for the perspective. i get overwhelmed more by simple, bureaucratic things like insurance (and accidents, boo) than by big stuff, and sometimes i forget to try to keep it all in proportion.

yay to Swee'pea!

Jennifer (ponderosa) said...

The whole time we were selling our old house and buying this new one, I wavered between believing that I had skin cancer, and that the US was heading toward complete financial & social collapse. I kept grasping for *something* that I could control -- I almost welcomed all that document-signing, since it gave me something to do!

So, yeah. Stress.

nomotherearth said...

Yahoo for sleep! For weeks after the Boy slept through the night, I kept waking up. It was rather annoying.

We're still waiting for the Little Guy to decide that sleep is good. Sigh.