Thursday, August 21, 2008

This Marriage

May these vows and this marriage be blessed.
May it be sweet milk,
this marriage, like wine and halvah.
May this marriage offer fruit and shade
like the date palm.
May this marriage be full of laughter,
our every day a day in paradise.
May this marriage be a sign of compassion,
a seal of happiness here and hereafter.
May this marriage have a fair face and a good name,
an omen as welcomes the moon in a clear blue sky.
I am out of words to describe
how spirit mingles in this marriage.
Kulliyat-i-Shams, 2667

Nine years ago today, around 2:30 pm, you reached into your breast pocket and pulled out a tiny scrap of paper. You blushed and stammered as you gave me an excuse for using the phone number on it. I know you hate it when I say that part about blushing and stammering, but it's important to me. It showed me you don't make a habit of giving your number to strange girls in stores, that I was somehow special.

I used to feel a mild guilt that I never wrote you a love poem in the following months the way I did for previous loves. I worried it meant it wasn't real, but enough time has passed now to know this is as real as it gets. I was just too busy being with you to write about it.

Four years ago today, around 2:30 pm, I walked towards you down an aisle of green grass
(I remember I wanted to start our marriage when the clock was on an upswing). We spoke and heard beautiful words in a beautiful place. I never felt a moment of doubt or fear.

Anniversaries used to be important occasions to me. Now I see it's the year in between that matters.
We've barely spent any time apart in the last nine years, less than 30 nights I'm guessing. If we had been separated during an anniversary before now, or before Swee'pea was born, I would have worried that it was a bad omen, that it foretold future separation. But the distance between us today (5000 kms?), just reminds me how strong our relationship is, and how strong we are individually.

Every time we lead up to you going away, I dread having to do everything on my own. But once you leave, I discover it's not your doing I miss but your being.
I unlocked the door of our new house for the first time by myself, without blinking an eye. I am fine on my own, but boy I sure like having you around. It is good to be reminded so clearly that it is you, all of you, that I love, not just your hands.

Being with you has taught me so much about myself, about you, about compassion and how to be together.
It makes me a better person. Many times over the last several months, I have reflected on how peaceful and loving and full of laughter our relationship is. Here's to many more years...

Thank you for the last nine years. Travel safely tomorrow.



Anonymous said...

My eyes are welling with fought-back tears. That poem and the sentiments are both just beautiful.
I am married over thirty years and it is each day between the years that really matter. Same for raising children.

(Your) Anon

Aliki2006 said...

Happy Anniversary! So beautiful, c.g., so incredibly perfect.

Kyla said...

Happy anniversary, Sin. This was just gorgeous.

Mad said...

Awwww, shucks.

flutter said...

So So sweet

kittenpie said...

Oh, lovely, Sin. Happy anniversary.

Bon said...

breathless, am i. that was beautiful, Sin.

you are both lucky in each other. it reads that way, not just this post, but all the peeks we get.

Lisa b said...

Happy Anniversary!

I love the last shot of your little man in the series below.

Janet said...

Gorgeous. Happy Anniversary to you both!

PS Mine is in three days. I seem to recall that our kids have birthdays within a few days of each other, too. Weird.

Elizabeth said...

This was so moving, Sin. Brought tears to my eyes. Happy Anniversary.

Janna said...

This reminds me of our 15th anniversary, when Jules bought me a diamond and I wrote him a letter. The letter brought tears to his eyes and I couldn't have bought anything as perfect.
Happy Anniversary!!!
P.S. Jules and I are also going to be separated on our wedding anniversary this first I came up with crazy plans of how he could get to Zomba, but then I realized it will be OK and am looking forward to our early celebration this evening.

mamatulip said...


zoom said...

Happy anniversary Sin, and many many more.

Mommy C said...

Congrats! and TAG!'re it. I'm sure you know the rules, but if you don't, come visit me at the ranch.

Morrigan said...

Beautiful somehow seems inadequate. Thank you for sharing this with us.

As a newlywed who happily gave her partner permission to go on a canoe trip over our anniversary, I share your feeling that it is the everyday stuff in the middle that matters the most.