Thursday, December 20, 2007

naughty drawer

Somewhere in my parents' house is a big brown envelope with various threats on the outside to anyone other than me who might open it. I have been looking for this envelope for a couple of years now, with no luck. I'm quite certain there's no way it could have been thrown out, because things rarely get thrown out of my parents' house.

The envelope is puffy with many papers, which I packed up just before university. They came out of a drawer in my bedside table, my naughty drawer. I think I put things in there that would shock my mother if she dared open it. It was a test. I knew if she opened it there would be no way she could keep it to herself. I can picture the drawer pulled open even now. There are the letters, a diary, an empty, partly flattened, bright red cigarette pack, an empty mickey bottle (vodka?), and a half-empty box of condoms that expired before I got the chance or inclination to use them.

I threw out everything but the letters by the time I moved out. I no longer had anything to prove.

I suppose I still have a naughty drawer by my bed. It was a surprisingly short time between needing privacy from my parents and soon from my child. Along with my memories of teenage rebellion I remember poring over my friend's dad's porn mags and feeling some small pride that I could never find a similar collection at my house, and I looked high and low.

What about you? Did you have a naughty drawer when you were a teenager? Do you have one now?

PS -- who is that reading in Br0ckville?!? Please tell me it's not family... (unless you're my sister -- that's ok.)

16 comments:

Oh, The Joys said...

I think you should type up a page from the puffy package and post it here...

cinnamon gurl said...

Well, I'd love to if I had it... I can't find it though!

Beck said...

In high school, I had a naughty drawer full of:
- condoms
- pot and frequently little bottles of booze, for my post-bedtime drinking needs
- various depressing poems I wrote
- and their ilk. My parents never looked in their because they respected my privacy, but my GOD, they shouldn't have.

Suz said...

I did have a naughty drawer, until I spied Ty-baby walking around with a vibrator. I now have a naughty shelf.

Jennifer said...

I love it. I did and do, indeed, have a naughty drawer. Except that an entire drawer to myself is, apparently, too much to ask now, so I now have a naughty cardboard box on the shelf in the guest room. My husband has promised he will throw it away without looking, upon the event of my demise. (I have threatened to haunt him if he looks.) Ha!

metro mama said...

I still have a naughty drawer. I keep my handcuffs and dildoes in it. I had a similar drawer in highschool, only then there were drugs in it too!

Mad Hatter said...

I love your readers. No naughty drawer for me as a kid. I was definitely too straight laced. As for now, I'll just quietly second what Suz said.

Kyla said...

I put my naughty things into the portal to the attic that was in my bedroom.

I'll never forget finding my sister's condom stash. My mom had found them previously and written Bible verses on EACH ONE, both sides. Oh, my friends and I had a good chuckle about that.

Now we keep naughty things hidden on the closet shelf. This weekend BubTar brought me one of those items and asked me what it was, which reminds me, I totally need to blog that one. ;)

nomotherearth said...

wow, I'm boring.

Mimi said...

Oh wow. You are absolutely right about that tiny, precious window of time between hiding stuff from your parents, and hiding stuff from your kids.

Mostly, that brief window for me was all about sleeping naked, and walking from bedroom to shower naked, and getting ready for bed with my bedroom door open. It's mostly been about bodily decorum.

Damn. I miss naked :-)

Lisa b said...

I know my naughty drawer had birth control pills and lacy underwear and I was sure if my mother ever opened it I would have known. Also some very, very poorly written diaries.

dawn224 said...

we currently have a naughty nightstand. sadly I think it's dusty.

At one point in my life, my friend and I had an agreement that if we died, the first thing the other was to do, was remove a cylindrical buzzing object wrapped in cloth from a specified place in our bedrooms :) Good friends are hard to find.

b*babbler said...

We had a naughty drawer under the bed that met its demise when we moved. Good friends helped move the bed BEFORE I had finished emptying out said drawer. The drawer with no top.

I still haven't entirely lived down the embarrassment.

Anonymous said...

If you are looking for the best stuff to fill your Naughty Drawer with go to www.naughtydrawer.com there is also a Naughty Drawer Myspace page with a Whats in your naughty drawer survay., talk about the sex toys in your drawer

Anonymous said...

It was very interesting for me to read that blog. Thanks for it. I like such topics and everything that is connected to them. I would like to read more soon.

123 123 said...

Nice article you got here. It would be great to read a bit more about this topic. Thnx for giving this information.
Sexy Lady
Brunette escort