burn (and a not-burn)

Updated: New illustrated edition!


This was originally taken to show off my new winter coat, but it also conveniently shows how clean our porch is now. Aargh! Now that neighbour is going to think that calls to the city get great results!

In order for this post to make sense, you need to remember a few key details about me. If you've been reading for any length of time, I know they won't be surprises, but if you're newer, you need to know.

1. I really don't like being told what to do. So much that I will often act against my own best interest just to avoid doing something that somebody told me to do.
2. I'm messy. And until we decluttered everything to put the house on the market (which we still haven't done and are unlikely to), the mess sprawled onto our front porch.
3. Despite my good intentions, I only open the mail once a month.

So, last weekend we opened the mail to discover a notice from the city. Apparently, our property was inspected on September 29, and they ordered us to clean off our porch. What really burns is that we did, that very weekend, so that now we have a pretty porch completely with Adirondack chairs and decorative potted plants.

Upon consideration though, what burns even more is that when the inspection took place, we had a freaking dumpster in our driveway, so it had to be obvious that we had work underway, which could explain the paint cans and the ladder that were on the porch, the paint cans that were specifically identified as items to remove forthwith. I am SO tempted to call the city just to tell that we cleaned up the porch before we even knew about their stinkin' order. So there.

And of course, there is the residual burn that some nasty neighbour felt the need to call the city, instead of talking to us. I'm pretty sure I know exactly who it was. People suck.

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Well, at least some people do. Someone who doesn't suck, though, is Mad, whose hilarious Boob Tube post I nominated for a ROFL award.

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I'm also mildly horrified that of all those resolutions, I have instituted exactly zero of the habitual items. The one-time tasks are complete, however.