Thursday, August 30, 2007

Bye Bye MeeMee

Well, today was Swee'pea's last day with MeeMee, our daycare provider. He didn't really know it though. I haven't taken any steps to explain to him that he won't be coming back to MeeMee's, at least not regularly. When I picked him up, MeeMee had packed all his belongings, his oversized orange tie-dye pillow and stuffed buffalo and blanket, which I'd thought might help the sleep situation when he first began, his change of clothes, which I'd completely forgotten even existed and probably doesn't even fit anymore, his box of wipes and extra diapers. When he saw the pillow, he looked perplexed, and said MeeMeein a way that was both a question -- why is that coming with us? -- and an imperative -- that belongs at MeeMee's -- at once.

It wasn't an easy parting for MeeMee or I. Swee'pea was his usual happy self (apart from his momentary confusion about the pillow), giving her a big hug and happily repeating his singsong, "Bah bah," down the street. I did tell him before we left that next week he would be going to a school with his friend J, the one we visited the other day, but I really don't think he gets it, and that makes me sad.

I gave MeeMee a framed enlargement of this picture of her daughter, which I took at a party she threw early in the summer. I think she liked it.

sage redux

When we left, both MeeMee's eyes and mine were shiny and bright with the tears that spilled out once we were a safe distance away. I knew if we stayed any longer, we'd both be blubbering messes, and we really don't need that. Still, I'm really really sad that she won't be in Swee'pea's life in the same way and that he'll probably miss her but not in a way that he will be able to understand or articulate.

* * *

I thought making the daycare decision would make me feel better, and it has a bit, but not really. I don't feel really great about the place; it is the best of the limited options available. That said, I remember when MeeMee first told me she wouldn't be doing daycare anymore, it was one of the mornings when we were feverishly painting, and I walked home thinking about how we couldn't possibly go with another home care situation, that she had ruined us for anybody else, and also that I would prefer to avoid the risk of my daycare provider going back to school again; that Swee'pea was old enough now to handle the activity of a centre, and I was ready for the controlled environment. So I am reminded that this will be ok. And I have a feeling that Swee'pea is mostly a pretty adaptable little kid who will probably enjoy the centre as much as he enjoyed MeeMee's.

14 comments:

Karen said...

Yes, he will bloom where you plant him. He will, he will.

NotSoSage said...

Sometimes, I think, these decisions are harder on us than they are on them.

Mad Hatter said...

That picture is stellar!

We said goodbye to Brianne, our Nanny, the other day. The tears flowed freely on both sides. It is so hard having to move your child on, isn't it? Swee'Pea will adjust no problem but still the heart does ache.

Mimi said...

Oh, how difficult for all of you. I'm so sorry about this forced change, but I think you're right to spin it so positively. Like Karen says, he'll bloom where you plant him. What a lovely idea.

Give that Swee'pea a hug for me ...

Kyla said...

I'm so sorry. I think Sage it right, sometimes these decisions are harder on us than on them. But still hard.

flutter said...

Oh my god, that photo stole my breath.

Christine said...

that is one of the most gorgeous pictures ever. PLEASE come and photograph my rug rats! ;-)

and the description of the parting and the tears was so sad and evocative. i bet see'pea will be fine at the new place, but that it so hard to see know. take care, 'k?

kgirl said...

Very tough to say goodbye. We're doing it today.
Swee'pea will pull through the transition just fine, I'm sure, but this part is tough.
Beautiful picture you took.

Jennifer said...

What a gorgeous photo!

MeeMee sounds wonderful and change is so hard. I agree that these changes are more difficult on us, as parents, and as moms, in particular, though. The day my children started at a new daycare (a change I knew would be a good one) I was physically ill. My kids? Happy as clams. *sigh*.

bubandpie said...

I think it's somehow symbolic, this first of many losses. At least, that's how it feels to me when my children mention "Sharon's house" - their first experience of mutability.

Beck said...

That is a beautiful photo.
I think that we love our children so deeply that the idea that anyone could bear to be in their life and then choose NOT to be anymore is almost unbearable, because how could anyone walk away from such a child?

slouching mom said...

Not surprisingly, a stunning photo.

From what you've written about him, he sounds like a very mellow, adaptable little guy.

Aliki2006 said...

Oh, c.g.--how hard. That picture of MeeMee's daughter is just amazing, I am floored by it and by how you captured that expression she has--so haunting. You are one talented and sensitive and amazing women.

Oh, The Joys said...

Flickr seems to be buggin' so I can't see the photo. :(

Changing daycare is so hard. I'll keep my fingers crossed that it all works out well.

xo,
OTJ