Wednesday, June 20, 2007

The post we've all been waiting for

Milestone Reached in New Sleep Study

G-town, ON -- A groundbreaking study at the University of G-town shows that if a child waits long enough to sleep through the night for the first time, the parents won't really notice or or care or know for sure if the child actually slept through the night.

This finding is the result of a long-term study following a number of families after the birth of a new baby. "All the other babies in the study slept through the night ages ago," head researcher Masala Man reported. "We were just waiting for the last one, and frankly, I was keen to go home. I think we'd all given up hope that it would ever happen in our lifetime."

Fortunately for the individuals but unfortunately for the research, everyone's so exhausted they can't be sure he actually did sleep through the night. He definitely slept in his crib until 5:30 in the morning, and he definitely didn't wake up before the subjects went to bed themselves. But that's where things get hazy. When the boy's father got him at 5:30, he couldn't remember for sure whether the boy had woken in the night.

One thing's for sure though: the boy's mother, known as Cinnamon Gurl, slept through the night! "It's happened a few times actually that I've woken up in the morning thinking Hurrah! Swee'pea slept through the night! But my husband always remembers getting up with him in the night and just settling him in the crib. This morning it seemed like that was the case again, but once my husband really woke up, he said he didn't think he'd had to get up."

This research study is the first of its kind, probably because it's so labour intensive. All the researchers, and especially the parents of this wakeful child, are exhausted. The sad reality is that one night won't even make a dent on 16 and a half months of severe sleep deprivation. Interestingly, the researchers have now decided to continue their study with a change in focus.

"We were all set to go home, but this latest development makes us want to see what happens to this tired family over the years, and how this child sleeps a few years from now. We're not fooled by this kid; I'm sure it was a one-off. He probably won't sleep through the night again for another 16 months. But maybe by continuing this research, we'll be able to help other exhausted families one day."

- 30 -

For more information, contact:
Masala Man, Head Researcher

13 comments:

bubandpie said...

Hehehe. Um - congratulations?

kgirl said...

you are so funny - and so right. there came a point when chris and i just kind of looked at each other and said, we haven't had to go up to bee in like, weeks, have we?

anti-climactic to say the least, but who cares - enjoy it!

Beck said...

Ah, that happy slept-through-the-night feeling - we haven't had it here in a while because The Baby is having "issues."

Aliki2006 said...

Ha!! I loved this--hilarious. And I'm glad you got one solid night. The sad thing is we've (I've) never gotten a full solid uninterrupted night's sleep in almost 7 years. But don't despair! I'm sure Sweet'pea will NOT follow in my children's footsteps.

Kyla said...

Hooray! Very clever post.

Christine said...

This was too much! I'm with Kyla, very clever.

Alpha DogMa said...

Aren't you clever.

I remember when DrKnow first slept through the night. He was 6 weeks old (and yes, I do appreciate that I won the lottery by birthing a narcoleptic child). The OmegaMan and I woke up after 8 hours of sleep and had a debate about who should go to the nursery and make sure the baby was still alive. Yes, we are caring, dark-humoured pessimists.

Karen said...

So funny, so true, by my third child I was so tired I didn't know what time I myself had been up with, let alone what Matt may have done! Happily, all good sleepers all told, but just normal baby sleeperss times three became a comedy of "what time did I feed him? I though you changed him at 11?" every night of the week. Just keep it blurry and maybe this night will repeat itself, maybe, hopefully! Good luck and good sleep!

slouching mom said...

Heh.

Congrats. Hope it happens again, and again, and again...

NotSoSage said...

Huzzah!

Em said...

LOL! Enjoy the sweet sleep!

Heather said...

That's so funny! I love that your husband just can't remember.

We just had an accidental CIO night about 3 nights ago. I heard Sweetpea (6 mo, old)twice, and twice I planned to get up, but uh, I quickly fell back asleep (read passed out) both times. I'm assuming she did too.

Our first daughter didn't sleep through the night for more then one night in a row until 13months old...I can so relate!

Bon said...

late to this, but still laughing!

happy resting, Sin.