Friday, May 11, 2007

procrastination station

Here's what a lazy ass I am.

Some people argue about whether toilet paper rolls should roll over or under. I am too lazy to even put the roll on the holder. (My long-time readers already know this, but I thought I'd repeat myself to save linking to that other post.)

But I AM a detail person, so I have noticed that our cleaning woman (who in fact owns the business so it's not always the same person each time) always puts the roll on the holder, always rolling over (I think), and even folds a nice little point into the tip of the paper. I have discovered that I kind of like having the roll on the holder. But not enough to actually do it myself. (Do I even need to say that Sugar Daddy has never put the roll on the holder? He doesn't even notice where the roll is.)

Last week just before the cleaning woman arrived, I noticed that the roll was getting pretty slim, so I switched it out (prematurely) for a fat new roll, just to get the most bang from our cleaning woman buck. I like to call it strategic thinking.


At my work, we have to pay for a monthly parking pass, something like $20 a month I think. When I went on mat leave, I gave up the monthly pass, and since I've been back (more than two months now), I still haven't quite gotten around to setting up my new parking situation. It's some kind of block. I never seem to remember except outside the office's hours when I'm actually parking or pulling a parking ticket off the windshield.

If you don't pay for the monthly pass, you have to park in the pay and display visitors' lot. However, I also don't pay and display. That costs $12 a day, and a parking ticket, if they give you one, is only $15. I choose to gamble. Mostly, I get about a ticket a week, which is obviously better than paying the astronomical $12 a day.

That said, I have been trying various strategies to avoid parking tickets. First I paid and displayed one day and then continued to display in the hopes that the meter maid wouldn't notice that the date was wrong. That worked for a while, maybe even a week. (And yeah, that now sun-faded ticket is still sitting on my dusty dashboard.)

Then I decided to try displaying the parking tickets I've already gotten on the dashboard to go for the sympathy vote. That worked for a day (or so I thought), but now I've gotten two tickets in a row. I guess that really just shows me for the repeat offender I am.

Sometimes my stupid-ass logic and the effort I put into avoiding a task make me laugh.

What's YOUR procrastination/lazy ass/dysfunctional citzen/lateral thinking/strategic story?


metro mama said...

I once went almost a year without renewing the sticker on my car until I got busted a week before my birthday.

Mad Hatter said...

Don't get me started on my "avoid the ticket" parking strategies. I could write a dissertation on my cunning logic around free parking and the parking at the Uni is only $2 a day.

As for me, I live by the logic, why clean up the toys when she's just gonna haul them all out again tomorrow.

That toilet paper roll thing that you've got going? It's a knee-slapper.

NotSoSage said...

Well, I've said before that I transfer all of the clean laundry that is on the couch in our bedroom onto the bed every morning in an effort to force us to put the clothes away before we go to bed. What we end up doing is going upstairs at 1 am, groaning, and transferring them all back to the couch. And repeat. Ugh.

And I've, just today, been mulling over whether we should look into getting a little help keeping the house clean now and then, as house guests (who are our sole motivation for cleaning) aren't as common as needed to keep the place to our liking.

kgirl said...

If you go to my post today you will see a picture. and if you look closely, you will see about a month's worth of clean laundry in baskets, on the chair or on the floor of the room in the picture. I cannot seem to ever put my laundry away.

But I know I like my toilet paper on the roll, coming from the behind of the roll.

You know what I mean.

slouching mom said...

Clean piles of laundry. Sitting for so long in one spot that they need to be dusted.

Denguy said...

Ugh! You are sooo sneaky. I couldn't do those things, it would bend my psyche too much.

Beck said...

I'm the laziest person in the world, ever. I could write a book on procrastination strageities, except I'm, um, too busy.
The toilet paper thingy you have is probably too fussy. We have one of these:
and even our two year old can change the toilet paper roll now.

ewe are here said...

No way to avoid parking enforcement people over here. They're everywhere and verrrrry diligent about nailing parking offenders, especially back in Edinburgh!

Mouse said...

The only reason our toilet paper is on the holder? Our apartment has holders that are open on one end--just slip the roll on there and you're good to go.

Before that, the toilet paper often sat on the top of the old tube; we'd go through a couple of rolls that way before one of us would go to the trouble of putting it on properly.

Bon said...

i woulda told you i was all nicely organized, but i just found out today that a) our car registration was supposed to be renewed last January, and b) the city water/sewage bill which comes but once a year is NOT, as i assumed, for the year previous but the year coming. which means we now owe for two years. yippity skip.

this is how devious i am even WITHOUT strategies! imagine the havoc i could wreak if i planned this shit!

Nancy said...

Speeding isn't really illegal, because everyone does it.

Other than that, I'm pretty close to a model citizen. (Bigtime rule follower here).