My name is Cinnamon Gurl and I am a potterhead. It started out innocently enough: I just wanted to see what everyone was talking about, what all the fuss was about. I didn't even like it that much the first time. I mean, sure, it was fun, but not as fun as I thought it would be. For a long while, I had total control; I could do it a bit here and there, at parties, nothing much. Then towards the end of my second book, I found myself getting more and more heavily involved in the Potterhead world. One day I did so much that when my son woke several times in the middle of the night, I kept thinking he was Pot(ter) and I had to save him in some strange half-sleep Pot(ter)-induced hallucinations.
Now, I'm neglecting my family. My husband says he's jealous of Harry Potter and the rapt attention I focus on it. I've even started doing it when I'm with my son. If I see he's occupied with some toy for a few minutes I'll creep into a corner and do some while my he's busy. Sometimes it can be really hard to drag my attention back into the room, back to my son. It's gotten to the point where, now, if I open my book in front of him, he'll cry, "Nooooo!" and try to take it away from me. That makes me sad but I still couldn't stop.
Even my personal hygiene is suffering because I'd rather have 10 minutes to smoke some Pot(ter) than shower. Last night I stayed up late because I just couldn't get enough and I even did some before breakfast. The worst, though, had to be this afternoon when I finished the last four pages of my fourth book in front of my desk at work. I spent all morning thinking about it just sitting there in my back, and I couldn't resist. I had to do it.
I've even started going out late at night, just to get more Pot(ter). I couldn't stand the thought of going all evening and probably all day tomorrow without any more Pot(ter) so I snuck out to the library to refill my stash. Ohh, the sweet relief of having fresh Pot(ter) in my hand... what had been looking like a cold and bleak evening suddenly had colour and warmth again. Sadly, I don't even think I've hit rock bottom yet. I know I have a problem, that I've lost control, but I don't really want to try to fix it until I've finished the series. I mean, once I'm finished, I'll be able to stop any time I want, right?
Assimilation is the Wrong Goal
2 days ago