Wednesday, July 23, 2008

Bah Humbug

I'm tired and bummed out. I've lost momentum with my photography and have succumbed to discouragement. I have belly dance tonight, and I always feel good after I go to class and it's so good for me, but I feel like it just takes my limited time away from photography. I can't keep up with the editing of everything I shoot, and I haven't even been shooting much. But every time I sit down to edit some photos I just feel drained and uninspired. I've gotten some rejections sort of recently, and sales have pretty much disappeared (except yours, Bea!) and I'm finally giving in to the "What's the point anyways" feeling I've managed to keep pushing away for the last six months.

I think I'm also a bit confused, visually. I've been looking at lots of other people's photos online and I just don't know anymore whether to continue in the highly post-processed look that seems kind of shunned by "serious" "art" photographers or to go with the clear, crisp, straight shots that seem to carry more status. I hate to be driven by status but I'm finding myself increasingly drawn to those kind of photos. Ugh.

I'm also a bit lonely I think. The last two weekends have been so busy that at the end of it, I don't feel like I've had a weekend. And I'd love to get out for a beer or two on a warm summer night. I miss that thrill of warm air on bare arms.

It's not really as bad as all that. I'm pretty sure I was feeling great just a few days or a week ago. But my tiredness has caught up, and not even the fact that SYTYCD is on tonight is very exciting. I found last week's dancing decidedly unthrilling (well, ok, that MIGHT have had something to do with the fact that I *thought* my vcr was recording the last half-hour so I let myself be distracted only to discover that the vcr ran out of tape. Bring on the PVR!), except for Gev's solo on elimination night, and then he got eliminated! As much as I love Mark, I really thought Gev should have stayed another week. Boo.

And what's up with all the radio silence on off-stage relationships? A couple of years ago there was lots of gossip about off-stage romances but there's nothing this year. Anyone got any dirt?

Anyways, can you tell me a joke or something good that's going on with you?


Karen said...

re: SYTYCD - on this point, it may not be you. My sister and I have determined that last season really was better. Some of the solos have been boring me this year. I hope it is this season only and it is not that the show is just sort of expiring.
re: all else - finding the groove for art/life/fun/work is a tricky, tricky balancing out. I hear that totally. My only thought is to go ahead and have a few beers on a warm summer night. Who knows when inspiration may strike!

Bea said...

I'm so happy with my print. It's the one thing I'm most excited about hanging on the wall when we get the new house.

thordora said...

I haven't even bothered with SYTYCD this year-anytime I've turned it on it was that Comfort chick and MAN she annoys me.

I love your shots, and I normally hate things that I highly processed. Please don't stop. Just keep trying.

And promise that you won't stick a vignette on every photo like a friend of mine does.

cinnamon gurl said...

Bea, you totally just made my day.

Thor, I do like the odd vignette, but I promise not to do it to every single shot.

kgirl said...

Comfort annoys me too. SYTYCD is on right now, and I'd rather blog.

Don't be so hard on yourself. Take a break from the photos maybe. You'll get inspired again and it'll feel fresh and fun again. Don't you ever find blogging goes like that too?

zoom said...

If I was there I'd totally take you out for beers on a patio.

Kyla said...

I love your stuff Sin. I really, really do. Keep at it. As far as processing versus SOOC, I like processing if I can TELL it has been processed. I dislike photos that pretend to be SOOC, but really and truly have had lots of "work" done to them.

niobe said...

Hey, can you point me toward some examples of both the highly post-processed look and the clear, crisp, straight shots?

I really want to improve my understanding of photos and what makes them good or not-so-good. I realize that to some extent it's a matter of taste, but still....

Hannah said...

SYTYCD: I've never watched a whole season before so I'm not comparing it to seasons before so much... but can I just say that if they ever make anyone anywhere ever do the country two-step again that I will lose my shit? Because the choreographers can try to justify it all they want but it still looks like a dance invented by drunken rednecks.

I never watch it when it's actually on - I DVR it and then I can fast-forward through the commercials, lame filler, and Mary Murphy screaming. It's a much shorter show that way. ;)

As far as your photographs go, you and I have talked before about how I don't know the subtleties that you are seeing... but I do know that if you are enjoying the process at all you have to stick with it, for yourself.

crazymumma said...

You know, I try NOT to look at anyone elses work as much as possible. I know I know I know, it is SUPPOSED to be important, but i feel it .....taints my vision. God. How pompous does THAT sound?

Maybe you need to come to To soon for a beer or ten on a hot summer patio?