I'm tired and bummed out. I've lost momentum with my photography and have succumbed to discouragement. I have belly dance tonight, and I always feel good after I go to class and it's so good for me, but I feel like it just takes my limited time away from photography. I can't keep up with the editing of everything I shoot, and I haven't even been shooting much. But every time I sit down to edit some photos I just feel drained and uninspired. I've gotten some rejections sort of recently, and sales have pretty much disappeared (except yours, Bea!) and I'm finally giving in to the "What's the point anyways" feeling I've managed to keep pushing away for the last six months.
I think I'm also a bit confused, visually. I've been looking at lots of other people's photos online and I just don't know anymore whether to continue in the highly post-processed look that seems kind of shunned by "serious" "art" photographers or to go with the clear, crisp, straight shots that seem to carry more status. I hate to be driven by status but I'm finding myself increasingly drawn to those kind of photos. Ugh.
I'm also a bit lonely I think. The last two weekends have been so busy that at the end of it, I don't feel like I've had a weekend. And I'd love to get out for a beer or two on a warm summer night. I miss that thrill of warm air on bare arms.
It's not really as bad as all that. I'm pretty sure I was feeling great just a few days or a week ago. But my tiredness has caught up, and not even the fact that SYTYCD is on tonight is very exciting. I found last week's dancing decidedly unthrilling (well, ok, that MIGHT have had something to do with the fact that I *thought* my vcr was recording the last half-hour so I let myself be distracted only to discover that the vcr ran out of tape. Bring on the PVR!), except for Gev's solo on elimination night, and then he got eliminated! As much as I love Mark, I really thought Gev should have stayed another week. Boo.
And what's up with all the radio silence on off-stage relationships? A couple of years ago there was lots of gossip about off-stage romances but there's nothing this year. Anyone got any dirt?
Anyways, can you tell me a joke or something good that's going on with you?