Where is my son and what have you done with him?

Hola! My world is warm and minty at the moment, thanks to my first mojito ever. Swee'pea and Sugar D are sleeping upstairs, after a very long and protracted battle with Swee'pea that sent both Sugar D and I hurtling over our own edges of sanity. It wasn't pretty. But finally, finally Swee'pea is sleeping. We have discovered that we can't take him anywhere if he needs sleep because he becomes this demon child we don't recognize who screeches at the top of his voice and when we tell him not to scream in the restaurant, he just screams louder, with an evil, knowing, maniacal grin. He throws anything he can get his hands on, and luckily so far Sugar D and I have managed to keep the glassware away from him. Not so with the many forks at the buffet restaurant, which Swee'pea hurled to the floor with a glorious, clanging crash.

I have only 20 minutes left to type, and there is so much I want to say. It's a beautiful setting, the resort is great (thanks for the recommendation, Sis!) and what I've seen of the culture is tantalizing. Today we went into town and I saw a middle-aged woman plucking the hairs from her chin on her front porch, right on the main drag. What a great place this is! I come from a place where people remove their hairs behind several closed doors and then try never to talk about even the existence of those hairs.

And the smell... somehow it smells just like South Africa! How can that be? After wracking my brains trying to figure it out - is it the trace of cigarette smoke that never gets stale because everything is so open? Is it the humid sea air? Is it the marble floors or the wood furniture? Then a lightbulb went on earlier today. It's the floor wax! Plus the cigarette smoke and sea air and sunshine and all that. Whatever, it's heavenly, and makes me want to live with this smell forever.

But I'm a little troubled by my frustration. We've only been here for about 30 hours (I think - I don't have a watch and it's impossible to find a clock in this hotel. I think it's a conspiracy), but I feel like I'd rather be here by myself. Sugar D keeps wanting to chill and sleep in the room, and Swee'pea has just discovered the satanic joy of running away from us full tilt. Twice, he's tripped and slammed onto his knees (which was kind of a good thing because we may not have caught him otherwise), and now he points to his knees sadly, "Booboo!" Last night at dinner he told everyone who smiled at him, and that was pretty much everyone who laid eyes on him. They're bewitched, but that's just because they don't have to run after him or try to get him to stop screaming and throwing things.

We've lost all our power over him. At home, if he's being naughty at bedtime, I just threaten him with lying in his room by himself with the door closed, and he settles right down. But here, I can't very well just leave him in the hotel room, though I seriously considered it. I also considered threatening him with sleeping in the bathtub, but I didn't do that either. At restaurants, I can't threaten him with leaving, because I want to eat, dammit.

On top of this, Sugar D's response to powerlessness is to give in and give up, whereas mine is just to try harder, even it means lots of unpleasantness and just doing the same thing over and over again (i.e. yelling). After a while, I feel alone in my efforts, and Sugar D feels just as frustrated but from the outside he just looks calm and unaffected. I am beginning to think that I never want to go on a family vacation again.

But other than that, everything is great. I'm sure things will get wonderful in a moment, and I'll feel silly and ridiculously self-pitying for having written all this, and then I'll blame the mojito.

What's going on in your part of the world?