Sunday, September 21, 2008

the deal

OZ: We should figure out what kinda deal this is. I mean, is it a-a gathering, a shindig or a hootenanny?

CORDELIA: What's the difference?

OZ: Well, a gathering is brie, mellow song stylings; shindig, dip, less mellow song stylings, perhaps a large amount of malt beverage; and hootenanny, well, it's chock full of hoot, just a little bit of nanny.

XANDER: Well, I hate brie.

Yesterday we had a party. I'm still trying to figure out what kind of a deal it was. I mean, we had brie (which I actually don't really like but lots of other people do) and the song stylings were relatively mellow, but we also had several 2-year-olds so it was chock full of hoot. And there were definitely a few malt beverages.

It was a last-minute affair; I just decided to have a party on Friday when I saw the nice forecast for yesterday. If we'd had more notice I would have invited some bloggy peeps.

All summer long, my goal was to have a housewarming party before the end of September so we could enjoy the yard. This house really felt like a party house, like Burt Reynolds's house in Boogie Nights. But the issues we've had since we got possession kind of put a damper on my party visions, and I started to wonder why I wanted to have a party so badly anyways. I mean, who needs a party when you have seven seasons of Buffy to watch?

Unfortunately, the party segregated early on. None of my old friends have children, and the new friends do so they split along old/childless:new/childful lines. Which meant that I couldn't really catch up with the old friends OR get to know the new folks. After a while, the only old friends I have with kids showed up and provided a bit of a bridge between the groups. I felt all angsty about it last night after everyone left, but maybe that's just always how the host feels? Like they didn't get a chance to visit with everyone? And maybe people just have a good time anyways. That's the view I'm choosing to take.

As usual when I'm in the room, Myers Briggs came up. And you know what? They were almost ALL idealists (NFs) like me. Idealists are pretty thin on the ground at my work -- I only know of one, who is of course great to work with. No wonder I feel a bit out of place there. But discovering all the idealists I invited to the party made me realize that perhaps it's not so much that I need to make new friends, as that I have to reconnect with old friends.

The evening wound up pretty early in party terms, which was just fine with me. [Spoiler alert for potential Buffy watchers.] Earlier in the day it suddenly struck me that Buffy and Angel can never really be together again, now that they know what will happen if he ever experiences true happiness. How awful is that?!? Anyways, after everyone left and Swee'pea settled into bed, I popped my latest Buffy dvd in. It skipped so much I gave up on it. I'd rather wait until my new friend at work can give me her copies on Monday than miss any crucial scenes that involve Angel. Yes, I know I have a problem.


Elizabeth said...

That dialogue is hilarious. what is it from?

cinnamon gurl said...

Buffy the Vampire Slayer, what else? ;)

Bea said...

That party is like my worst nightmare. I hate mixing groups of friends, and I'm always anxious in social groupings too large for a single conversation. And being a host gives me a heart attack. I'm just glad you survived!

Lisa b said...

I am very sure everyone had fun. Don't you always have fun at parties where the host is running around trying to make sure everyone is having fun?
It has taken me years to get my husband to understand that hosting a party is WORK.
I still don't know what Myers Briggs type I am, all I know is that all my friends are EXACTLY like me. I have really been wondering lately if this means that the world is really nothing like my experience of it.

Beck said...

I'm sure it was a great party for your guests, although just your description of it made me want to lay down with a brown paper bag on my head.

Mad said...

What good is an idealist who can't mingle?

Janet said...

I think the host always feels a little off-center (at least I do). It was worse when all my kids were little. The mix of keeping everyone in food and drink and keeping children out of mischief was draining. I get to do more sitting and socializing when we host parties now. I think I found my niche: I am very good at sitting and sipping on wine. The conversation flows along nicely the more I sit and sip. Related? ;)