Ministry of Seasonal Compliance
March 28, 2008
As you know, our organization contracts with you and 11 other months to provide Canadians with a varied weather experience each month of the calendar year. The terms of our agreement require you to do one of the following:
1) come in like a lamb and go out like a lion, or
2) come in like a lion and go out like a lamb.
In more literal words, you must bring about some form of mild weather, and it is up to your discretion whether that falls at the beginning or the end of the month. As at the date of this letter, we have seen not even the merest suggestion of lamb-like weather.
The end of your term for this year ends in three days, and we cannot urge you strongly enough to desist with all this lion-like weather. Your behaviour over the last 28 days could have a negative impact on April, and its reputation for being the cruellest month. If do not go out like a lamb, April may need to modify its raison d’etre.
The fact that you are also contravening Wiarton Willie’s prediction of an early spring only adds to our concern that you are not abiding by the terms of our agreement. If you do not go out like a lamb, we will be forced to consider alternative arrangements for next year, including contracting April for a double term or perhaps even extending the summer months’ contracts.
We hope you will do the right thing and demonstrate our shared commitment to appropriate seasonal behaviour. We look forward to continued partnership.
The Honourable Jane Weatherby
Minister of Seasonal Compliance
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