Updated with new developments below.
Life is hard. I'm on vacation. We're supposed to be going to my parents' cottage tomorrow morning for a week, nearly 5 hours' drive away, with a couple of days in Ottawa to visit my sister. But our mentally ill family member is in the midst of a bit of a crisis, although of course it's not a big enough crisis to actually get any help for her.
On top of this, we're trying to decide on the issue of Sugar D commuting to Toronto, essentially adding four hours to his working day every day, meaning he'll get max. one hour with Swee'pea per weekday. Meaning I'll have to do the whole morning routine, which I've been depending on considerable help from Sugar D before now, AND the grumpy evening routine all by myself. Five days a week. And both of us keep waffling. Of course, all this hand-wringing could be moot because he hasn't actually gotten a job offer. But he has gotten a phone call from the same company for a different job interview with a different department, a department that could be more in line with Sugar D's career's goals. But doing the interview puts a serious dent in our holiday plans, pretty much kiboshing the Ottawa bit and shortening the cottage bit. Is it worth it for a job that he may not even take because of the commute? Well he doesn't know enough about the opportunity yet to know.
We've considered the possibility of moving to Toronto but house prices are out of control and we keep coming back to the fact that we really like living in our town. And our mentally ill family member lives here with virtually no one else to care for her or watch for opportunities to get help or manage crises.
I hate this shit. I was doing fine, managing the uncertainty and keeping positive, and Sugar D was doing well too. But now it all feels so overwhelming and frustrating and uncertain. We've been planning this holiday since before Sugar D lost his job because Swee'pea's daycare is closed. I don't have enough vacation days to take another holiday and Sugar D can't afford anymore time away from the job search either.
Any crack decision makers out there with good ideas? Help...
Edited to add: Ok, I may have been a touch hasty here (I KNOW. That NEVER happens to me.) Our good friend Banana pointed out that if a company can't respect a one-week vacation before they've even hired you then how flexible will they be when Sugar D is spending 4 hours a day trying to commute there? So he's rescheduled with no major consequences. And it appears the mental health crisis is no longer a crisis and there's nothing that would really be gained by staying home this week. So it looks like perhaps our vacation is still starting tomorrow. The commuting issue remains a dilemma and open for discussion... thanks to the commenters who've already added their two cents' worth and sympathy.
A love letter to Tristan, age 12
11 hours ago