Thursday, January 01, 2009

I think the time has come to retire this space.

I've been thinking about this a lot lately, and I'm still not ready to say I will never post here again. But having two blogs has been splitting me, and it feels dishonest and artificial. There's so much overlap between them for one thing -- that overlap being me, of course. The reality is that my photography is informed by my motherhood, the people I've met in this community and my resulting interest in social justice, the books and blogs I read. I've been feeling really guilty about the fact that I've written so frankly about my experiences at the Drop In Centre here, but I only ever give the people I meet there my other website. I want to own what I write; anonymity is only an illusion, especially here where I've relinquished it to promote my photography.

I was debating taking the site down entirely, but I haven't figured out how to archive it all (boy I'd love a way to convert an entire blog into a pdf, just in case any Adobe people are reading and want to develop a new tool), so I'll leave it. Plus, I really don't want to close the door entirely on ever writing here again.

I sought this space out to reach out to other mothers, to find other people with similar, honestly reported experiences of motherhood. You got me through those hard, hard early days, not the really early days of motherhood, but the days when everyone else's babies were sleeping and mine wasn't. And it was blogging that caused me to start seeing photos everywhere, and your support that kept me growing (I love that I know pretty much everyone who's bought my photos or calendars). So much of the rhetoric around motherhood is about sacrifice and losing yourself, but for me it's been the catalyst to reconnecting with myself, my creativity. (Bea introducing me to Myers Briggs and my ENFP-ness also played a significant role in my transformation: it's been so freeing to discover that I'm not as pragmatic as I thought I was, that Sugar D didn't have the market cornered on dreaming. And Mad nominating me for Best Photo/Art Blog in the 07 Canadian Blog Awards also did.)

Ugh, I'm getting all verklempt. It feels a bit like the end of an era, but I'll still be blogging over at peripheralvision, and I'll be expanding the scope over there, for better or worse. I hope to see you over there, but I'll undertand if I don't, since this kind of means the end of Sin. I meant to close up before the end of 08, to make a clean break, but I didn't have the mental space to do it justice until today. But that's ok. New beginnings always need endings to start.

Thank you for reading, for everything.

28 comments:

Beck said...

Aw. I'll miss you, but I did see this coming - and I'll keep reading you over at Peripheralvision. Hope to see you around, and best wishes. xo

slouching mom said...

love to you. don't be a stranger. nor will i.

Mad said...

You see, I think of this as a win-win. You'll still be blogging AND I already have your other blog in my Reader. All I need to do is upgrade the other one into my "Hallowed 11" folder.

Sin, I must confess I do feel melancholy about the end of this blog. I remember that young woman and new mother who started out (according to the 1st post I read) being pissed off she couldn't find her favourite shampoo anywhere but Wal-mart. Oh, how things have changed. I like to think that we (the oldest of bloggy buddies) have changed each other. I know that you, your compassion and your eye have changed me and made me a better person.

Thanks for Write About Here and long live Peripheral Vision.

Janet said...

I'll miss you here, but I'll see you over there, okay?

Be well.

David Scrimshaw said...

It's fine to stop posting here, especially if you'll continue posting elsewhere, but if you delete this blog, you'll wreck everything on other people's blogs that links back here.

thordora said...

I'll miss you, but I get it. :)

Anonymous said...

I will follow you to Peripheralvision; it's ok.

(Your) Anon

Kyla said...

Oh, sigh. Someone else I read regularly retired recently and although she too has another place to write, it still feels a bit like losing someone. Sin and the way she writes and moves in this space will be no more, and it makes me a little sad. I understand, truly, and will surely update my reader to include Peripheral Vision (as I've meant to do for sometime now)...but the end of an era is still a bit poignant.

metro mama said...

It seems like a lot of us are moving on to bigger and better things.

I will add your other blog to my reader, and keep this one in it, just in case.

All the best. Happy New Year!

Andrea said...

I'll miss you here, but I think it's great that you're reaching out for bigger and better and Sin-er things.

Good luck, and I'll still be reading.

ewe are here said...

I'll miss this site, but I've just updated my goog reader with Peripheralvision. :-)

Happy New Year... make sure you drop by next week, I'm going to do a give away.

Cloud said...

I'll miss this blog!

Jennifer (ponderosa) said...

I've been reading your blog a lot but hardly ever commenting; and now I feel like I've lost my chance! I'll add your other blog to my reader.

zoom said...

You've got to follow your creative heart Sin. I hope you'll leave this blog here, because maybe there's something here that might be exactly what somebody else needs someday.

Peripheral Vision is in my reader, and I'll keep reading you.

DaniGirl said...

Oh no, what terrible timing! I haven't been over in a while, and have just missed your final soliloquy... rats! I will follow you on the other blog, and hope to find the same lovely mix of photos, motherhood updates and rambly rants that make you so compellingly readable. Sigh.

Bea said...

This is terrible. Just terrible.

Bon said...

sniff. i've been feeling like this whole world may close around me soon, fall down brick by brick. and i get it. but i am sad...because i have found a lot of beauty in this space.

since i (blush) don't have a reader, i guess i gotta get myself on over to Peripheralvision. cool.

love to you, Sin.

Hannah said...

Hey Bon, I don't have a reader either. You're not alone.

Sin, I will miss you here, but look forward to your new spot.

I hadn't read you before Blog'Er '08, and now you're one of my favourites. Congratulations on everything this space became - and good luck with your new direction.

Aliki said...

I'll miss you, too. As others said, I'll miss the you here, in this space, but I'll read you over there, and put your URL in my new blogroll.

See you soon...

kgirl said...

Really? I'll miss you. Luckily, I can click over to your other place to get my dose of cinnammon.

kgirl said...

did i just leave my last comment ever here with a spelling mistake. gah! what a legacy. (mine, not yours.)

Magpie said...

all best...

jen said...

i read this and realized Sin will live on always. and it's time to add that other blog to my reader.

Mimi said...

I will miss you. You were one of my very first bloggy friends.

Sniff.

mamatulip said...

I will miss this space, but I'll see you at your other one. It's already in my reader.

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