Wednesday, September 26, 2007

life

Life is overwhelming. I used to think that my challenges were unique or different from the challenges everybody else faces. Now, I am beginning to suspect that I am just an incompetent human being, that my mountains would be a more organized person's molehills, that I create or at the very least attract these dramas. I suppose it's in my nature as a procrastinator, avoiding or ignoring everyday tasks until they can't or won't be ignored, the moment at which the universe throws a curve ball and someone loses a job or daycare or housing or a loved one, and the world crashes in on me, struggling just to wash the floor or pay a bill or cook dinner or change the diaper of a rowdy toddler.

I don't know how much longer I can keep this pace up for.

19 comments:

slouching mom said...

Have you read my mind? Or today's blog post, at least? No, don't do that. It would add yet another thing for you to do. Delete all those unread posts. That's what I just did.

Overwhelmed is what I am, too.

It's too much. There's too much to do.

Stop the world, I want to get off!

I'm sorry it's true for you, too.

Suz said...

You know...it's amazing how the kids have changed this. We used to have the weekend to unwind, destress, and catch up - now it's no longer the case. Of course, I wouldn't change it, but still, a little more time would be nice.

Mad Hatter said...

Yes, Sin, you are unique in this. No, Sin, we all experience it. Both these statements are true. I'm thinking about you and if you need or want to email, please do.

DaniGirl said...

FWIW, the few months after I went back to work following my mat leave with Simon were pure and unadulterated hell. (See http://danigirl.ca/blog/2005/05/20/is-this-my-life/)

It does get better. And worse. Then better. Then worse.

Huge hugs... it may suck, but it's not forever.

kgirl said...

I get in way over my head all the time. It's so easy to let simple things become complicated ones, and so hard to do the reverse.

Can I help?

flutter said...

You can't. You shouldn't. and if you don't, that's ok.

Karen said...

just the rowdy toddler can be enough to overwhelm me most days...I hope it gets better and soon. You are not incompetent - life can be very, very grueling at times.

b*babbler said...

I'm so sorry that you're feeling like this. I really think that the enthusiasm for September and all the new beginnings can often result in this "totally over our head" feeling. Ugh.

If there's anything I can do to help (with your big move and all down here) let me know!

Mimi said...

Ah yes. You can do it, though.

And I'll come by on Sunday to help. Send me your address, ok?

crazymumma said...

I know.

But it sounds from the comments that you have lots of people willing to lend a hand.

ewe are here said...

I think everyone feels overwhelmed by life from time to time... I know I do.

I hope you make time to let yourself just breathe. And be. We all need to do that, to make ourselves do that...

Hang in there.

Beck said...

Everyone feels overwhelmed and tired out and sort of barely competent - it's the big secret of adult life and I'm glad I didn't know it as a child, because I'd have been even MORE tired.
It WILL get easier - this is just a rough patch.

Kyla said...

Oh Sin. Thinking of you.

And yes, we all feel this way, at least some of the time. It has nothing to do with competency and everything to do with being human. We could fix the first if that were the case, but unfortunately we cannot fix the second. Life is messy and overwhelming.

nomotherearth said...

I always feel like other people are handling things way better than I am. Maybe they are, who knows? Someone once told me that having children is a "wild ride". Hang in there. We're all holding on for dear life.

Bon said...

what Mad said...it's you, and it's all of us. and it's life, and all we try to cram into it.

and right now i'm sitting at a desk with a thousand things to do but no brain to do them with, because, like you, i'm just overwhelmed.

i send...um...unfocused wishes for better feelings. and a conviction that you're not incompetent, just human. 'kay?

Aliki2006 said...

I'm so sorry you're feeling drowned, c.g. I know we all have our unique set of issues to juggle, but know you're not alone. I have been feeling exceedingly overwhelmed--there are, literally, not enough hours in the day and staying up later to accomplish things is *not* helping...

Hang in there...

niobe said...

I feel something very much like this -- that the things that threaten to break me, would have managed with grace and courage by a better person.

I don't think that reading other people's blogs has been good for me in this respect. I see so many people learning and growing from the same experiences that I can't seem to find my way through.

jen said...

we should form a club. oh wait, that would be one more thing to take care of.

dammit.

Christine said...

life just is so hard sometimes, it does feel like we are drowning. hang int here.

{{hugs}}